Let’s get ready to bumble

There are some days I wish MTV’s old claymation standby Celebrity Death Match was a real thing. I mean, who wouldn’t want to see Hanson and the Jonas Brothers claw each other to bloody ribbons over the ecstatic jeering of a live audience? Sure sounds like entertainment to me.

But George Zimmerman versus DMX?

I’m not sold on this one. The whole point of a brawl is to watch two grown men pound each other into hamburger over the course of an hour or so, and Zimmerman’s Pillsbury Doughboy-like physique simply isn’t built for that kind of endurance. But George has never been one to let his obvious limitations inhibit his undeservedly elevated opinion of himself. Apparently, this boxing thing was his idea.

CNN reports:

Zimmerman said the celebrity boxing match was his idea. Boxing was his hobby, he told Radar Online last month, even prior to the “incident.”

The incident, of course, is the February 2012 encounter in which he shot dead an unarmed Trayvon Martin, 17. He stood trial for murder, but was acquitted.

“Prior to the incident, I was actually going to the gym for weight loss and doing boxing-type training for weight loss,” he told Radar.

“A mutual friend put me in contact with Damon [Damon Feldman of Celebrity Boxing] and provided me with an opportunity and motivation to get back in shape and continue with my weight loss goals and also be able to help a charity out.”

It could also give Zimmerman the opportunity and motivation to shoot another unarmed black man. Given X has already threatened to “beat the fuck out of” Zimmerman, and then whip his “dick out and piss on him… right in his motherfucking face”, I’d say Zimmerman actually stands a pretty good chance of a second acquittal… assuming he’s tried in Florida, of course.

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