Barbacoa with extra bullets, please

Personally, I’ve got nothing against open carry in theory. If I had to choose between two scenarios, one in which crazies carried guns openly and one in which crazies carried concealed weapons, I’d begrudgingly choose the first. At least that way, there would be no guesswork involved; the crazies would be readily identifiable.

In practice, however, open carry is less about carrying out some sick, twisted vigilantist fantasy and more about trolling the shit out of people.

Case in point:

I feel safer already.

These upstanding citizens carried their semi-automatic civilian-variant military battle rifles into a Dallas-area Chipotle restaurant, for no reason other than because they could.

I’m sure the patrons felt secure knowing that, in the event the United States was invaded by atheist Islamic militants from Mars, there were at least two fit, capable, professional warriors there to protect them.

Oh, wait. They didn’t.

Even in the gun-friendly state of Texas, in the deep-red heart of Dallas, people prefer to eat their barbicoa burritos without a couple of barely-post-pubescent-wannabe-soldier-Randite-morons playing with their fucking weapons at the next table. After receiving numerous complaints, Chipotle’s corporate office requested customers kindly leave their fucking guns at home, or at least in the car.

The Guardian reports:

The fast food chain Chipotle is asking customers not to bring firearms into its stores after it says gun rights advocates carried military-style assault rifles in one of its restaurants in Texas.

The Mexican food chain said “the display of firearms in our restaurants has now created an environment that is potentially intimidating or uncomfortable for many of our customers”.

Sensible, isn’t it? But wait, there’s more:

A Chipotle spokesman did not immediately respond when asked whether the company’s request was an outright ban, or how it would respond if people continued to bring in firearms.

Chipotle noted in its statement that “there are strong arguments on both sides of this issue”. It said it hoped that customers who opposed carrying guns in public would agree that “it is the role of elected officials and the legislative process to set policy in this area”.

Wait… what?

It is the role of elected officials to say what people can and cannot carry onto your private fucking property?

In other words, “We’re not going to ban weapons from our restaurants outright because we don’t want to alienate potential customers… who carry guns, but at the same time we really don’t want to alienate potential customers who, understandably, lose their appetites when some ginormous Baby Huey manchild sits down at the table next to them and starts fondling his fucking assault rifle. If Uncle Sam were to, say, make some kind of law regarding guns in restaurants *hint hint, wink wink, nudge nudge*, we’d be happy to comply!”

Spineless chickenshit corporatist cowards.

Well, I for one prefer my burritos without the sulfurous aftertaste of spent powder. I guess Chipotle will have to get on without me.









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